Password joke wins Fringe's funniest NEWS


Password joke wins Fringe's funniest

BritEvents lists the best and worst jokes of the festival, including Nick Helm's password joke that earned him the Fringe festival's funniest joke award.



The funniest joke was voted by viewers of the digital TV channel Dave, whose panel put their favourites to public vote.

Helm won the award for the joke: 'I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.'

2010's winner Tim Vine was placed second this year with: 'Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.'

Helm said: 'I knew my joke was the funniest joke of all the other jokes in 2011. Thank you to Dave and all the people that voted for proving me right.'

As well as an award for the best joke, there is also a worst joke of the festival award which was won by Paul Daniels for his awful gag: 'I said to a fella 'Is there a B&Q in Henley?' He said 'No, there's an H, an E, an N an L and a Y'.' Daniels won a wooden spoon.

The top 10 funniest jokes of the festival

  1. Nick Helm: 'I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.'
  2. Tim Vine: 'Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.'
  3. Hannibal Buress: 'People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time'. You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works.'
  4. Tim Key: 'Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought... once you've hired the car...'
  5. Matt Kirshen: 'I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess.'
  6. Sarah Millican: 'My mother told me, you don't have to put anything in your mouth you don't want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.'
  7. Alan Sharp: 'I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure.'
  8. Mark Watson: 'Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife.'
  9. Andrew Lawrence: 'I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can't even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails.'
  10. DeAnne Smith: 'My friend died doing what he loved ... Heroin.'

Some of the best of the worst gags of the festival

  • Tim Vine: 'Uncle Ben has died. No more Mr Rice Guy.'
  • Vladimir McTavish: 'The Lockerbie bomber put Lockerbie on the map, well he nearly took it off it too.'
  • Josh Howie:'I've got nothing against the Chinese. Don't get me Wong.'
  • Card Ninja: 'I went to see this show and the guy said 'Hey kid do you like magic?' And I said 'Yeah!' So he asked if I wanted to see a trick and I said 'Yeah!' So he said 'think of a number, times it by 2 and if it's odd ...' Oh no, he's a MATHmagician!'
  • Tom Webb: 'Due to the economy, profiteroles will now be called deficiteroles.'
  • Nathan Caton: 'Postcode wars? That sounds like a really shit BBC game show.'
  • Andrew Bird: 'My wife's eating for two. She's not pregnant, just schizophrenic.'
  • Mark Olver: 'During my first murder I was like a dyslexic having my back teeth removed ... losing my morals.'
  • Andrew O'Neill: 'A song for the colour blind: 'And I think to myself ... why did I become a bomb disposal expert?'


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